On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
