you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
No subtext here. People are naked.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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