my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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