I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
