Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
