Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
