speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
