i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so explain again why im purple
no
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
