my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
