She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
