Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
