wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If its not for food we ain't going out.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
