Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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