I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
