I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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