East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
