Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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