I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
