How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
