And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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