is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Randomize
