Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
