hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
