I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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