You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
honey bunches of taint.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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