he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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