Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
