the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
