He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
