Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
