my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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