The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Text me some of your sweat
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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