Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
