If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
