It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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