shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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