i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
