Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
