i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
