The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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