Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
