My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
