I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Randomize
