Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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