if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
