I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
