Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
