I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
