two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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