You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
