***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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