You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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